How to be in-sync with your co-founder? The startup way.
It’s dangerous to go alone, take this!
We build trust not during times of success but during challenging times. Building a company is a unique, exciting challenge, but it can be profoundly annoying and not interesting sometimes. In the end, someone must always be accountable for everything, and that’s probably the co-founders often in the C-suite: CEO, CTO, CPO, etc. (but not always, as we’ll see).
Funny enough, while writing a draft of this article, Charity Majors (founder and CTO at honeycomb.io) wrote a piece named How to communicate when trust is low (read it too). She started with:
Cofounder relationships can be hard. They are a lot like marriages; in their difficulty and intensity
Definitely! Relying on someone else in our life is crucial not to go crazy, personally or professionally: same story. I will talk about startups having two co-founders only to keep things simple. Let’s talk about:
Cofounders relationship
How co-founders can kill their startup in no-time
Synergies between co-founders
Coaching
Vision & Mission
Who should I talk to?
You don’t always have all the answers, you don’t always not the best course to do something, you don’t always have the money, and you don’t always have the experience or the knowledge to help.
Yes, your professional network is helpful.
Yes, your VPs (Vice-President) are helpful.
Yes, your investors are helpful.
Soon, you realize you need someone who profoundly wants the best for the whole company by putting their personal interests off the grid, thinking long-term, and being your companion when things are going to be complicated. You are not looking for someone to hear only good stuff — you are an employer; you pay people to do something you want.
You need someone reliable and close to understanding what you’re going through, what the context is, what the history is, someone you can trust 200%, someone you can say absolutely anything and everything without hiding the brutal truth (reorganization, layoffs, lack of interest, lack of focus, etc.). This has to be your co-founder.
I genuinely admire solo founders because they’ve decided not to follow this road. Maybe for more rewards at the end, or because they feel it will go faster, but at what price? (our personal life is essential)
Together makes us stronger.
Lately, I’ve been participating in an event called Connect by Hubspot, where we —founders— were discussing our challenges and helping each other by diffusing our learnings and wisdom to others looking for answers. Nothing is more powerful than group synergy. Never stay alone… but ensure you’re with someone with the right level and perspective to get along.
Knowing someone well is not knowing someone just through a working relationship. It’s imperative to blend working situations with many personal life situations: restaurants, sports, swimming pool, various entertainments, and quiet places where you will talk about critical topics for some reason: a sauna, a food market, bowling, the toilets, a pub.
Sharing personal anecdotes and past stories is crucial too. This is how you bond on a personal level. Your co-founder should become one of your best friends. You will share some happy stuff with them and all the non-trivial, non-happy stuff. This is what friendship is.
Blowing steam off together is crucial to bonding, like doing sports, boxing, and games. It’s about knowing we’re not alone in this. We’ve faced the same tough times and good times. Chatting and knowing the other understand without saying more is comforting (like when you don’t need to explain the joke, right?). These chats help us feel closer and ready for whatever comes next.
You’re going to grow together, at the same time, embracing the same experiences. In my first-time founder experience, it feels nice to bond with someone at the same level. We understand each other perfectly. There is no hate or condescension. We are here to be challenged, to learn, and we know it.
Co-founders are supposed to stay together for years, way beyond the average tenure of employment.
How co-founders can kill their startup in no-time
Countless investors and fellow founders have shared stories with me about how co-founder conflicts led to the end of their startups.
Coincidentally, a friend of mine, a co-founder, is currently having this very issue. He was compelled to shut down its company due to insurmountable disagreements with his co-founder and poor handling by its investors. Their concept was promising, and the execution was well underway. The product was out, the value proposition was clear, the potential was huge, and its community was growing. It’s truly unfortunate that such internal conflicts brought everything crashing down mid-flight.
I’m curious if any studies examine the dynamics between co-founders in startups and scaleups to understand their significance on the business. Please reach out!
Synergies between co-founders
Often, disagreements arise between co-founders due to differing visions, especially if both have overlapping interests in the same domains. It’s essential to have distinct roles and responsibilities. In my case, I handle tech and product (CTO or CPTO, who cares) while my co-founder, the CEO, oversees “the rest” © (sales, HR, operations, customer relations, etc.).
This clear demarcation allows us to operate within a trust-filled environment, concentrating on our respective domains. Instead of meddling in each other’s areas, our collaboration focuses on ensuring seamless integration across all departments, viewing the company as a cohesive system.
It’s worth noting that not all co-founders need to hold C-level titles. Let’s face it: when starting, many of us such and are inexperienced compared to seasoned C-level executives from established companies. Some co-founders might not aspire to such roles, and that’s okay. I know several startups where co-founders stayed engineers/IC (Individual Contributor, managing no one), focusing on their core strengths rather than the broader company management. It’s crucial to recognize one’s strengths and limitations. There’s no harm in admitting, “I might not be best suited for this role; let’s bring someone else in.”
Openness and honesty are pivotal to starting a healthy company. Not everyone is cut out to be a CEO or take on a plethora of responsibilities associated with C-level roles. It’s not because you want that you should. Recognize this, be humble, and surround yourself with the right team for a solid start.
A 3rd party to give you more perspective: Coaching
Coaching has become an invaluable tool for professionals today. While I haven’t enlisted a personal coach yet, I believe its benefits would be tremendous.
In the realm of building a company, receiving coaching — both individually and as co-founding pairs — is essential. It’s easy to wonder initially, “Why would an outsider be of any help? Aren’t they just like consultants who tell you what you want to hear and then hand you the bill?” No at all, that’s a misconception.
Coaching provides tailored guidance, enabling you to recognize and overcome personal barriers, leading to self-improvement and personal growth. They offer an external perspective, which can clarify complex decisions, ensuring alignment with both personal and company ambitions.
Because you check in regularly with your coach, you must clarify and keep track of your goals and ensure consistent progress (like OKRs). A coach is not here to listen and talk about your problems. They’re here to help you achieve your objective. If you lack objectives (e.g. getting better at communicating, managing, reducing your stress, etc.), they won’t be able to help you.
Engaging with someone outside your company and your usual network will introduce you to new ideas, methodologies, and viewpoints. It’s an excellent way to experiment with and adopt strategies, ensuring they resonate with your core beliefs and principles.
Articulating the company vision and mission
The importance of defining and conveying a company’s vision and mission is often overlooked in the early stages. However, as the company expands, the ramifications of not articulating them clearly become increasingly significant and you’ll start to see cracks in your organization.
Every team member should be aligned with the company’s vision and be passionately committed to realizing it. For this alignment to occur, they first must grasp its essence. And for that understanding to take root, the vision must be communicated on a regular basis (repetition) under various perspectives. This is no easy task.
Ultralearning, by Scott H. Young, explains this is how you build intuition. You have “explore the concept fully, deeply understand it, and learn how to recognize it in different situations”. This is one of the missions of the co-founders.
Do you know the vision of your company? Can you articulate why it’s an incredible vision and you want to be part of it? When did you last share that vision with your teams as a founder?
Some missions:
Google’s mission is to organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful.
Meta’s mission is to give people the power to build community and bring the world closer together.
Tesla’s mission is to accelerate the world’s transition to sustainable energy.
These companies envision goals that go beyond what we know them initially. A mission doesn’t have defined limits; it’s a broad aspiration that can be realized through various means, whether websites, products, or services.
Every company, irrespective of its growth phase, needs a mission. It serves as a guiding beacon, a north star. Every team member should comprehend and articulate how their contributions align with and advance the company toward its mission. Otherwise, something is missing in your organization.
It’s vital to think beyond the immediate horizon. A mission should be ambitious and not easily achieved within a year unless the aim is to establish and sell the business quickly.
Who better to navigate this journey with you than your co-founder? They’re the one who’ll stand by your side, challenge after challenge, success after success, and keep the company on track, making sure everyone stays focused on that mission.